S.M.A.R.T Goals for 2011

Who would have thought corporate life would haunt me enough to write a post titled "S.M.A.R.T Goals"?! But here it is! For the uninitiated, S.M.A.R.T is a mnemonic used in performance management. Well, that is all I know about S.M.A.R.T  and hence, I smartly provide a wiki link for the same. However, there is an alternate expansion for S.M.A.R.T according to ISO Document No. 999 and my goals for 2011 are solely based on it and nothing else. The alternate expansion for S.M.A.R.T is and I quote document No. 999:

"S - Senseless, M- Mundane, A - Awful, R - Ridiculous, T - Terrific "

So here are my S.M.A.R.T goals:

Goal #1 Become a Liverpool football player

Goal Description: Get the book called " How to Play Flawless Football in 16 Days" by Greek God Kyrgiakos. Mug all rules and instructions in the book and go for Liverpool selections. Since the book promises that no one has failed to become a top class player after reading it, I confidently say I will become a Liverpool player. 

Back page of  "How to Play Flawless Football in 16 Days"
featuring the most successful player thanks to the book.

Degree of Difficulty: Very Easy.

Goal #2: Become a Comic Artist.
Goal Description: Instead of describing it in words, I shall exhibit my skill (or the lack of it) with my own comic called CKSD: A web comic of debauchery and poor humor.

"Human waste is injurious to health. Sharks' is better than human's" by Fish School Headmaster

Degree of Difficulty: Demanding

Goal #3: Date a Sheila or Munni.

Goal Description: A picture is worth a gazillion words.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo!

Degree of Difficulty: Very Demanding

Goal #4: Talk to TR on Kural TV

Goal Description: More of a dream than a goal. Imagine the pleasure you  get when Sir TR challenge ah talks with his ultimate, unimaginable,spontaneous punch dialogs.  

Sir TR challenge ah talking. 

Degree of Difficulty: Cannot be Measured.

Goal  #5:  Resurrect Dr. Vijay's career.
Goal Description: I am planning to remake the cult classic Karagatakaran with Dr. Vijay and Namitha in the lead. I sincerely hope the remake will be a super hit and Ilayathalapathy will be back to his best.

Dr. Vijay in Karagatakaran photo shoot. Costume courtesy: Ramarajan

Degree of Difficulty: Very very very very Difficult.

Anyone performing pagan worship or playing with Voodoo dolls to hinder my progress will be subjected to severe punishment which will range from watching a Liverpool match to listening to Justin Beiber sing for a good 24 hours.