Saturday, February 18, 2012

A New Post

Yes yes, I know you haven't been waiting for my blog post nor wondered why I haven't blogged for a long time but it is my humble duty to remind you that my blog exists and so do I. I have never been a regular blogger (nor will I ever be) but, like all sane bloggers, I would love to be regular and a little entertaining once in a while.

Before you mistakenly presume that this blog post is going to be a little entertaining, I would like you to look at the title of this post. Since I couldn't think of anything clever or funny, I have stuck to the tab's name in which I am writing this post: New Post. Oh, I did add an article. As you can see, I have reached a creative nadir. Although the last time I gave a title for a blog post, the blog went viral and garnered more attention than Sunny Leone's antics in Big Boss 5. The title contributed very little to the virality of the post as the content, by itself, was hilarious! Yes, it was this post by this Lady and this KD. Now, don't ask me for the lady's identity or her intro.

So, why I haven't I blogged in a long time? I have succumbed to the tedious corporate life consisting of coffee breaks, meetings and more coffee breaks and in between those I have to find time to bombard my twitter profile with boring tweets and pry on profiles of homosapiens bearing XX chromosomes. Gone are those first few days at work, when I wrote Kalanidhi Vs Kalmadi as a note on Facebook. It was only later that year I started this blog, chiefly as a quiz blog to just flaunt that "hey, even I am a quizzer!" The series of questions were called Today's Kelvi aka TK and I wrote a note about TK to garner attention. What I also did was build a mascot, or rather a banner, for TK.
Sir TR challenja asking you to answer TK
But then, I lost interest in TK as there were few quiz groups on Facebook which were certainly more entertaining than TK. Moreover, the phrase "Answer in the blog" was severely scrutinized by high funda quizzers.

From the Drafts

In between TKs, I wrote few posts which evoked sadness more than a wry smile but that didn't stop me from tormenting people with more posts. However, there are two things that I have always wanted to do in my blog:

1. Write a short story or a serious article:
For Commonwealth's Short Story competition, I decided to make an attempt on writing a short story. After many days of writing and rewriting, I completed the story only to realise that Ra.One had a better story line.

I also tried writing something serious akin to Rorschach's Journal and I stopped after the first few words. You will know why I stopped when you read it.

"The Tale of Turtle, the Tortoise 

Turtle's Journal,
April 13th, 2011 A.D

The night is dark and the dogs bark"

Maybe I will write one this year. Maybe I won't. But I shall make an effort by asking expert tips from Cheese Charmer and Vijay Chidambaram since I can't wake O.Henry from his grave.

2. Learn Photoshop
All the images that I have exhibited in my previous blog posts were done using MS Paint. To shield my inability to produce quality photoshopped images, I claimed they were a new form of art called as PDC aka Poorly Drawn Comics. So yeah, I have been wanting to master photoshop and give this blog a non-amateurish touch. Krish Ashok's plog is one of my greatest inspirations in this area.

I tried parodying paintings using troll faces and thought of naming the post as Troll Art [not be confused with the art of trolling]. One of my friends, Deepak Vishnu, yielded to my constant nagging and made this awesome troll art of Edvard Munch's The Scream.

Troll Art: The Scream Lithograph

Although the following is what I had done before giving it to an expert. If Edvard Munch was living in the 21st century, I am certain that the face in The Scream would have been a rage face. 

Troll Art: The Scream

After that I made a marginally serious effort in parodying  RenĂ© Magritte's The Son of Man. I wouldn't call it brilliant but that is how much I could do before MS Paint started testing my patience. 

Troll Art: The Son of Man
I haven't been all that creatively challenged for a month. I did a couple of drab comics which you might want to see.
An astronomical increase in Indian citizens, who played pen fight and dikilona in India, watching the SuperBowl after going to the USA made me do this.
The SuperBowl
I also did an ad for Faking News to infuriate both The Hindu and The Times of India during the war of ads. But sadly, the two serious newspapers fought among themselves slyly avoiding a threesome.

A very profound ad

So, I might learn photoshop. Or I might rather continue with my PDCs and glorify mediocrity. One thing I will not do is leave my posts to rot in the drafts. Good or not, I will complete them for mere self satisfaction and not bother about the number of shares or likes or retweets. Ironically, it is the numbers that give you immense self satisfaction. I would like to abruptly conclude this post by saying that this blog has jumped the shark.

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