Thursday, November 11, 2010

Characteristics Of Indian Football Fans

Arsenal Fan
A person who always tries to use the word "Invincible" in a sentence but unfortunately pronounces it "Invisible" for God only knows what reason. Strict follower of Wengerism (a worthless philosophy) and always found with a book titled " How to Pass N times in a D box without Scoring" authored by Arsene Wenger. Picks up unnecessary fights with big clubs who have won 18 league titles and few CL titles but ultimately ends up being whopped hard and sent home crying. Always gets bullied by a fellow London club fan but takes pride in saying Ashley Cole was from my club. Would end up marrying a beautiful gal even if she doesn give the desired performance and result in bed because according to them "Results don't matter.They play beautiful football"

Chelsea Fan
A person who dint know the existence of this club until a certain Roman bought it. They infact believed he was an Italian (Rome-Roman) until some educated London club fans told he was a Russian billionaire. But not even now can they spell the owner's last name. Apart from bullying the above mentioned club,they try...well nothing..they don't do anything apart that. Favorite actor would be Didier Drogba for pretty obvious reasons. They would be having a troubled sex life because they would keep trying and trying even if it doesn't go in just like Lampard's shots on goals. They get offended easily when you say their IQ is as good as a nutless monkey. But they do make a strong comeback by saying " Hey listen! I am better than a nutless monkey! ".

Manchester City Fan
At the end of this season we can expect a significant rise in number of these people. Characteristics will be studied and published later. Would have been the same case for Chelsea fans if the characteristic study had been conducted in 2005-2006.

Tottenham Fan
Every other club's fan has a surprising soft spot for the Spurs. Hence specific characteristics couldn't be singled out in the studies performed.

Manchester United Fan
They are classified into two groups
1. Group XX
2. Group XY
People falling into Group XX are very common and don't have a brain of their own. They can google stuffs like "Funny jokes of Liverpool FC" at a speed equal to 3.00 *10^8 m/s. Don't be surprised if u find clich├ęd stuffs like "Loserfools" , "YAWN (apparent play of words with the phrase YNWA) and other popular stuffs. They will make it seem like no player is bigger than the club or Fergie but in reality they will cry in their rooms when Rooney leaves. Unlike other club's fans their sex life is awesome. Even if it is a worst performance ,Fergie time is always there to make up for the initial debacle.The other group, Group XY, are pretty much the same but have got balls.

Liverpool Fan
They were apparently too sad to cooperate for the studies.Hence, if any other club's fan is offended by a remark from a Liverpool fan,please excuse the Liverpool fan and say " It's ok. We understand."
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