Sunday, June 19, 2011

Twitter vs Facebook

We live in a world of 'tweets' and 'statuses'. Urinating on the 'wall' and polluting it need not necessarily mean the compound walls of your neighbors' house. Shakespeare in Love would be mercilessly corrupted to Shakespeare in 'Like' for promotional purposes. We are all slaves of Mark Zuckerberg and humble servants of Jack Dorsey . Pathetic attempt at a bombastic intro - Check.
 Not a day goes without us spending time on these social networking sites. This post is certainly not an epic rant about the impact of social networking sites on today's youth. I am certainly over my tenth standard SST paper. In this post, I shall merely elucidate why Twitter is better than Facebook.

1. Limited snubs
Thanks to the concept of "Followers and Followings", Twitter scores a notch above Facebook, which has the concept of "Friends". A girl who snubs your friend request on FB wouldn't mind you stalking her on Twitter because having a lot of followers is prestigious. Hence, above average stalkers like us are saved from the embarrassment of soul-crushing snubs. Although there are guys who try hard to strike a conversation in Twitter but eventually end up getting blocked by the girl. So for a sane person, Twitter is no bane.

2. Celebrities Complex
Though not as serious as the Oedipus or Electra complex, Celebrities complex has its own demerits. For all those people who feel jealous of actors and actresses, Twitter is a place where you need to be to get that jealousy out of you. When you follow their tweets, it will be quite evident that they are no different from you - wanting more followers, wanting more attention , wanting more attention for their dogs or worse, cats. They will get abused by thousands daily and yet pretend nothing happened. Twitter allows us to feel we are no different from the celebrities. Sadly, Facebook doesn't allow us this luxury unless you are a celebrities' friend.

3. Twitter teaches terseness
If you can't sell a Justin Beiber Music CD with 140 characters, you can't possibly sell it with 14000 characters. Twitter finds your lack of brevity disturbing.It teaches the value of each character and makes us avoid unnecessary fillers like "hmmm, ummm,eeeee,oooohh,loooool." Though, I wouldn't advise an Anna University student to tweet regularly, as his semester exams solely depend on the 14000+ characters of crap he writes.

4. Spams are very few
The number of spams in Facebook is tantamount to the number of stars in the Galaxy. Everyone is curious to know how Osama was killed or curious to know which friend stalks you. And due to these spams, you will have a group of people putting status messages showing off that they were ingenious enough not to click on those spams and hence, inadvertently,spamming about spams. And there will be a person who expresses his/her grudge towards people who spam about spam. And this spam about spamming about spam will put the Monty Python's Spam sketch to shame. However, there are no spamming issues in Twitter unless you follow @rioferdy5.

5. Hash-tag your way to glory
Twitter is the only place that tolerates your haphazard use of hash-tags. And more than that, your tweets appear in searches related to that hash-tagged item too! You can be famous in a short while if you hash-tag the right words. Here is an example:
Wrong usage: #Tonight I can haz Sex on the Beach.
Correct usage: Tonight I can haz #Sex on the Beach.

As you can see, Twitter is clearly a better place to be and it has many more advantages, which an amateur tweeter might not be aware of. And Twitter is not all that complicated as people make it seem like with words like RT,DM,TL,OB,ZJ,XD and etc. Twitter is an Utopian place filled with wannabes, snobs, shameless self-promoters, anonymous flirts and,most importantly, stalkers like you and me.

PS: As a voracious stalker, it is my duty to let you know that my twitter handle is @lowfundaboy and I would follow you for free.

6 comments:

Hari Kumar said...

Really nice ....
"I wouldn't advise an Anna University student to tweet regularly, as his semester exams solely depend on the 14000+ characters of crap he writes." -
Thalaivaaa !!!!!

susheel said...

EPIC shit! there is no spamming on twitter unless ur following @riofed5. Toooooo goood.. i mean it.

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

@susheel..@jack_wilshere is no different. Sumall baais puttin too much scene.
@hari..lol rite vidu!

Aravind \m/ said...

Hahaha I stopped following Rio Ferdinand thanks to the spamming!

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

Macha, don't unfollow da! Piers Morgan vs Rio Ferdinand banter raaaacks!

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