Tuesday, May 10, 2011

O(b/s)ama Video Games: The Dawn of the New Era in Gaming

Disclaimer: This is not another Osama Bin Laden spam content. So, you can safely read the following content at your own discretion. 

We, at Challenj Entertainments, challengingly  present O(b/s)ama video games for all homo-sapiens, who can touch their left ear with their right hand sans any struggle. Our game designers have come out with original, innovative, well sketched ideas for the O(b/s)ama video games and we require you to vote for your favorite game. The game with maximum number of votes will be available in Richie Street as early as possible. We also request you to suggest additional features for the games so that we will know there are people who have a dumber sense of imagination than our game designers. Without any further poor attempt at jokes, here are the challenging games. 

1. Oba-Man
Oba-Man is a simple arcade game, in which the player controls Oba-Man through a maze, eating cereal dots and collecting mails to track his arch enemy Osa-Man. Of course there are few apprentices of Osa-Man, who will thwart our protagonist's progress.Do you think you can outfox them and track the mails? Yes, I hope you can.  Here is how a simple level will look like. 

Due to technical errors never encountered before, it is virtually impossible to complete Oba-Man. If a player manages to collect all the mails properly and waits eagerly with his mouth wide open to face Osa-Man in the next level, he will unfortunately face Mr. Donald Trump. Our game designers are perplexed and have absolutely no clue on how to solve this error. If many people vote for this game, we shall employ our best minds to rectify the error.

Split-Screen level

2. Battle City: Mission Abbottabad
Battle City is 1 player/ 2 player game designed especially for the kids as there is no questionable content in the game. In fact, there is no content at all. The player, controlling a tank , must protect Mr. Osama residing in the brick house from various enemies. Enemies include a fully armed Jack Bauer with infinite bullets, a glib talker in Obama and a man who must not be named by mere mortals with his aruval. A rough layout of the game is shown here. It may seem to be pretty ordinary but the gaming experience is unbeatable and to face enemies of such epic proportions is very rare these days. We are  positively hoping this game will garner maximum votes as there are no complexities involved in its making. 

3. Contra-Ception
Contra-Ception is an action/adventure game, in which two US Marine Corps,under direct orders from President Obama, hunt for the father of countless children, Osama, . Only this time, it is not to capture and kill the man but to stop him from copulating. Quite aptly titled Contra-Ception huh? There are 5 levels in the game and the names reflect what Osama is doing at that moment.

  •  Level 1: Jungle- Subtle reference to Osama's beard as he scratches it before making love. And yes, it is his beard. Nothing else.
  • Level 2: Base-1 - First Base. You need any explanation?
  • Level 3: Waterfall - Refers to Osama's nonchalant fashion of excreting liquid waste from his body. Poor joke. Sadly, that is what our game designers are capable of.
  • Level 4: Base - 2 - Second Base. Actually if you really want some details, read this
  • Level 5: Osama's Lair - The metaphor is quite obvious.

Here is a screen shot of the final level where the soldier has to tackle Osama's balls of fury.                                                  
Shoot at the right ball and you shall prevail

4. Bomber-dude
This game is set in the trophy cabinet room of Arsenal,where Osama Bin Laden is taking refuge. Little does he know that there are not enough trophies in the room to even hide the mole on his butt. The task of bomber-dude is to drive out Osama from his hiding by bombing the trophy cabinet room. But, here is the catch. If one of the bomb explodes in the vicinity of a trophy, Bomber-dude will be castrated by a specially appointed jury by Arsene Wenger. Arsenal fans cannot afford to lose the few trophies they possess. This game is the toughest of the lot.
The cups in this room are holier than The Holy Grail. 

5. Stage-Fighters 2
What is a compilation of video games without the age old one on one combats? Stage Fighters-2 is one of those games you would want to play the whole night without texting girl friends or watching porn or both. The game features a roster of eight playable characters that could be selected by the player.  In the single-player tournament, the player faces off against the other four main characters, before proceeding to the final opponent, which is a non-selectable CPU-controlled boss opponent, known as the "Captain".
Playable Characters
  • Justin, a baby faced assassin from USA with powers ranging from the sub-sonic range to ultra-sonic range.
  • Rebecca, a female martial artist from USA, seeking to avenge people who yearn for weekends.
  • Sreesanth, a peace loving Yoga master from India.
  • Osama, a peekaboo champion from Saudi Arabia with powers of apparating and disapparating at will.
  • Obama, an intelligent rogue on a quest to discover his place of origin.

Computer Boss
  • Captain, a police officer with the knowledge of all martial arts but prefers to employ the drunken monkey style.

On a Friday, Rebecca is unbeatable. Even Justin will bite the dust

There are other games in the pipeline such as Super Osama Bros, The Legend of Obama, Immortal Kombat which we will present to you in another disastrously boring mail. For now, do not forget to vote for your favorite game. Your expert opinions and suggestions are welcome but do not hope to take the credit away from our game designers. Thank you.
Yours challengingly,                             
CEO/VP/HR/Peon of Challenj Entertainments


Ms. Know-it-all said...

Very good one! Loved CONTRA-ception =D


Ms. Know-it-all surely seems to know it all. Thank you!

distractedneurons said...

Awesome stuff! :) I shall replug your blog, please give me the full subscription to all the aforementioned games! :D


Lol ok. Done!

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