Thursday, April 14, 2011

To Vote or Not to Vote

It is with great displeasure I announce that I have failed to cast my vote as a dutiful citizen. Spare me the condescending look. I haven't committed any crime, have I? Oh well, if I have committed a crime, I sincerely apologize. In my defence, with India just winning the world cup and IPL's rare occurrence once in twelve months, I almost took my mind off the elections. Moreover people's obscure status messages, such as 49-O, didn't help me either as I genuinely thought those were cricket scores. My bad. The difference between 0 and O still eludes me. However, I feel better off without voting.

Again,don't give me that dirty look.Frankly, I couldn't bring myself to choose one extremely civil, honest and sincere candidate over another. It was like Sophie's choice, only this time, I was to choose from a battalion of righteous politicians.I was advised by my grand father to vote for anyone but DMK. That is supposed to be a secret.Anyway,if I had voted against DMK, my conscience would have pricked me just like how it pricks me every time I steal a poori or chapathi or both from my brother's plate. There are people out there,who claim DMK should be chased out of the scene and the family business should be put to an end. All this antagonism due to one small time con act popularly known as the 2G scam. Every coin has two sides, my friend. The other side is what we really care about. What would our families do without Sun TV, Kalaignar TV, Sun Music, Isai Aruvi, Chuti TV, Adithya, Siruppoli et al? How can one have the heart to vote against DMK when one succumbs to their assets so shamelessly? Heck, even Endhiran wouldn't have been possible without Sun Pictures. Honestly, do we care about the 2G scam or Endhiran and various other movies produced by Sun Pictures? This family has done so much for the well-being of an average Tamizhan. This family is awesome. This family is the Corleones of the modern era. I can't understand how people can hate this family. I am deeply disturbed and I can't fathom the hypocritical behaviour of the masses. For those who voted against them, I can only say your judgement is as good as an engineering student's, who decides to pursue MS in the USA to get laid easily.

Next up is the AIADMK. I am a person who takes the old saying " Maatha,Pitha,Guru,Rajni" a bit too seriously. Jayalalitha aka Amma aka Puratchi Thalaivi  is to Tamil Nadu as what Wonder Woman is to the Justice League. Power. Guts.Grit. Not the skimpy outfits though. Moreover, I would hate to be branded as a sexist. As an ardent MGR fan, I would have felt terribly upset if I had voted against her. And I have never seen a politician in India speak half as eloquently as her. Check this interview out with Karan Thapar and you will know. I would also miss the live coverage of arrests if you know what I mean. I hope the almighty forgives you sinners who have not voted for the most electrifying women in Tamil Nadu history.

If I had voted for one of the above mentioned parties, I would have received scrutiny from the 'educated' friends of mine, who believe that well learned independent candidates are the flavor of the younger generation. I have to agree with them. Also, I heard rumours that if you vote for Mr. Sharath Babu and get 99.9 %le in CAT and get 95% in your 10th and 12th and have a work experience of 4-5 years, you get a seat in one of the IIM's. If I am not voting for him, I would miss a great opportunity which I can't afford to lose.

You understand, don't you? I was caught in a fix.I was helpless. I was cornered. I couldn't compromise for one person over the other. It is easy to go and blindly cast your vote and show off that you have voted like you have surfed with the sharks in the Pacific. But, deep inside, you know everyone is as good as the other and you have made a terrible choice in choosing one and ignoring the other. All of them are fit to rule this state or even the country. You can't vote for all of them, can you? "Voting is a statutory duty not a luxury" echoed in my ears frantically. Then, someone gave me the bright idea of using the 49-O option, which I disregarded immediately. Doing that would be a disgrace to everyone and I could never do that. The next option,not the best though, was not to vote. At least I am able to live without any rotten remorse or abject fear of being burnt while taking a leak.

PS: I am a Vijayakanth fan and hence it is incumbent I don't vote against him.







8 comments:

Raghav said...

dinesh natarajan.. respect...

i especially loved the line

For those who voted against them, I can only say your judgement is as good as an engineering student's, who decides to pursue MS in the USA to get laid easily.

i feel much better now for i was feeling guilty about not having a vote in this country.. :) :)

nevertheless, i would be happy to see you start a party of your own.. hopefully you can vote for yourself in the next election (if you can pardon yourself of selfishness and brutality to the impeccable politicians whom you have admired)

"varungala mudhalvar dinesh natarajan vaazhga!!"

The Punny Indian said...

er.. as far as the content goes,
"I was too lazy to get up and go to the booth on a holiday" would've been more honest.

As far as your style goes though, I guess you are somewhere close to your previous best :D

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

@Raghav: Actually, I am planning to stand in the next election and vote for myself. I mean everyone should stand in the elections. Imagine what happens if everyone stands! Can an EVM accommodate so many buttons? We will get back the good old days of paper ballot and kalla votes.

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

@The Punny Indian
On the contrary, I wasn't lazy for a change yesterday. I was lazy few months back when I failed to register for the voters' list. My bad. Anyways, thanks for your not so punny comment.

Lady Kedi said...

A good respite from Cricket posts!

Also, I heard rumours that if you vote for Mr. Sharath Babu and get 99.9 %le in CAT and get 95% in your 10th and 12th and have a work experience of 4-5 years, you get a seat in one of the IIM's.

Watching Sun TV and getting awed by J is worthier than what Sarath Babu has to offer, huh?

Nevertheless, it was a fun read =)

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

@lady kedi

If I get an IIM that is just for 2 years. But Sun TV will be around me for my entire life. Loyalty is very important, you see.

Aishwarya said...

Awesome Explanation !! Good that you din vote.. Like lot others who jus voted for the ink mark !!!

And I 100% agree that you should never do something without conviction and I totally side you on that (if this post is not yet another joke of your and if u truly felt what you wrote !!!)

LOW FUNDA BOY said...

Oh yes! This certainly isn't a joke! :/

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